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Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

May 31, 2009

In the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, there is only......RPGs

This is my entry into this month's blog carnival on the Future of Roleplaying by the RoleplayingPro where they asked some questions for thoughts on what will happen to roleplaying in the future. These are mostly disturbing dreams and visions from a half-crazed mind touched by aberrant forces. Heed or ignore them at your own peril!

While I was writing my first entry to the blog carnival, my mind was attacked by feverish dreams and visions that gave me a glimpse of what will transpire in the future of gaming. They involved many bizzare images and a mysterious voice which whispered to me the dark future that lies ahead of us, unless we stop the dark forces that threaten the very universe of RPG itself. With my sanity at stake, I hereby transcribed these frightening visions to serve as a warning for the sake of our survival.

What games do you see emerging as the big players in the near future?
In the 26th edition of D&D which will come 3 months after the previous edition, the game company, whose name remains unknown, has introduced a subscription model of the core rulebooks that will be digitally delivered to paid customers on a weekly basis.

Each core rulebook will contain 7 new classes along with 7 new races as playtest that will never be canonized. There is no more Monster Manuals as a result as it's compulsory for players to generate their own monsters out of these core rulebooks. To compensate for the loss, they will have a Equipment Encyclopedia that will have stats for every 5,000 magical equipment (mundane items are gone by now) and loot. That's right, players can buy their own loot without having to go through the dungeons.

Once a customer has decided to subscribe, they are given 2 lifetimes membership which cannot be cancel at any point by the subscriber and their children. Price of the subscription increases on a yearly basis as 52 core rulebooks are deemed appropriate for higher level of content.

Other things that are required to play the 26th edition of D&D is the latest console, a virtual reality room, a satellite and a can opener (which is the hardest to find among the formers).

What companies should we be watching out for to release the next big product?
Everyone is anticipating the next big release to come from Nintendo when they release another supplement under the Mario label. Roleplaying as plumbers and stepping on mad caps has been seen as one of the most venerable forms of roleplaying by even the oldest of the oldest grognards that they believe will make even the fathers of RPGs shed a tear of joy in heaven.

How will technology become more integrated into roleplaying games?
The greatest development in RPG technology nowadays is in the field of Artificial Intelligence. RPG scientist and researches are close to perfecting the ultimate algorithm that will look ahead of potential players' decisions and improvise a balanced TPK for them in advance. Once this technology is complete and used by gaming companies, a computer would be all that is required to play a RPG session but controversy arises when it said to use a Nanosoft platform.

What industry writer do we need to be on the look out for?
Writers in the future of RPGs are an extinct species as game publishers now rely on random math, plot and design generators to come up with the latest RPG product. The only job that is left in the RPG industry is button pusher for these generators. Retrenched writers as a result are now looking for jobs in the TV industry where having writer strikes to kill off popular TV shows is a lucrative source of income.

What blogs do you see exploding into becoming the next big thing?
The oppressed minority by gaming companies and gamers alike. Some say that they are the final bastion of true roleplaying back in the heydays of using primitive tools such as out of shape polyhedrons and poisonous carbon leads. Such forms of roleplaying are now deemed inappropriate since it deals a high amount of environmental damage due to their paper usage for character sheets. Many still blame them for causing the post-apocalyptic era in RPGs when they raise many ideas, dubbed the 'zombie ideas' that were done to death and back again.

The most popular blog at this time is known as the Questing GM who resides in an urban jungle somewhere in Madonesia.

What do you see for the future of the industry?
RPGs has replaced all forms of gaming. It started by absorbing elements of board, card and miniature gaming and slowly made its way into the computer and console industry, following the phenomenal success of the Dragon Age RPG by Green Ronin in the 21st century. Since then, RPG has become a multi-trillion dollar industry and has become an academic subject in major universities.

Now, RPGs are looking forward to absorb reality TV elements where producers believe that watching a player smash and swallow his own dice would improve ratings.


As you can see, how grim our future will be if we maintain at our present course. So be prepared to face these consequences. Hide your books, hide your dice but most of all, pray to the gods that the Far Realm never reaches here.

Or you can just laugh it off and drop a nice comment.

April 9, 2009

13 Reasons Why Wizards Want You to Buy a D&D Book Instead of a PDF


This one is for the RPG Blog Carnival on Humor and Gaming, hosted by A Butterfly Dreaming.

I think what Wizards did recently is a good thing. It's a sure way to boost sales of their print books and support your gaming community. Think about it, we most likely won't be having access to a PDF copy of Arcane Power by next week unless you went to get yourself a hardcopy from your FLGS, which makes it a win-win situation for Wizards, your FLGS and you.

How does it benefit you? Well, Wizards is probably convinced that buying PDFs is bad for you and here's a list of possible reasons why, so that you'll be convinced too.
  1. It's harder to read a PDF on a screen for long hours than a book.

  2. It's faster to just pull a book off a shelf than opening a PDF file on your desk/laptop.

  3. A PDF is as bulky and weights as much as your desk/laptop which might weight more or is bulkier than a book.

  4. It takes longer to purchase and download a PDF than just buying a book and take it out from the store

  5. A PDF doesn't smell or feels good holding in your hands than a book.

  6. It's easier to flip a book back and forth than click or press to the previous or next page (or key in a page number) on a PDF.

  7. You can clearly read 2 pages at once for a book while you can only clearly read one page on a PDF.

  8. You can pull out maps from a book while a map is split into four pages in a PDF.

  9. A beaten book shows that it is put to good use, a beaten PDF means it's broken.

  10. A PDF is more vulnerable to destruction (harddrive crash, corruption, virus etc.) than a book (fire, water, pets etc.).

  11. A PDF collection is less impressive to show off to your buddies/girlfriend/wife/guests than a bookshelf of books.

  12. Unlike a book, you can't put a bookmark on a PDF or read where you last stopped without remembering the page.

  13. A PDF comes with more wires and/or heatwaves than a book.

And here's a bonus reason why Wizards want you to buy a D&D book than a PDF.

A PDF GETS YANKED OFF THE SHELF OF ONLINE RETAILERS AND ALL YOUR MONEY WITH IT IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS!

For more reasons on why a book is better than PDF, I point you to the wisdom of Penny Arcade.

Anymore other reasons to share?

April 5, 2009

Questing's Readings - April Fools Edition

The first week of April is always full of jokes and gags and even RPG publishing companies such as Wizards of the Coast and Paizo have been known to take part in this tricky celebration, posting up outrageous announcements for the benefit of the laugh.

April Fools makes no exception for RPG bloggers as well. So, in this special edition of Questing's Readings, here's a compiled list of jokes and April Fools related posts that appeared on the RPG Bloggers Network (without blurbs so as not to spoil them).

Did you get tricked by any of these readings?

A Rust Monster Ate My Sword
Old School Movement Takes It to the Streets

Bat in the Attic
Random April Fools Jokes

Critical Hits
I've Had Enough

DND Corner

Dungeons and Dragons is Evil

Dungeon Divas
April Fools!

Greywulf's Lair
Introducing Tunnels and Masterminds!

Life and Times of a Philippine Gamer

That's it, I'm Quitting RPGs and taking up Knitting!

Musings of the Chatty DM

Under New Management

Newbie DM
New release tuesday

April Fool's on me with DDI

RPG Bloggers Network
Important Announcement

Sham's Grog 'n Blog
Whimsical Wednesday: April Fool's Edition

The Core Mechanic
Tricia Hefler to Star in the Dungeons & Dragons Miniseries

The Fine Art of the TPK
It's april fools day...and I got nothing

The Gamer Traveler
Strange Graffiti on Dumas' Tomb

Vulcan Stev's Database
April Fool's Day pranks as plot hooks

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